A penny for your thoughts
by Sinian
Summary: - "Well, I thought of setting my iPod on shuffle and for every song we try to think of a scene from our relationship that fits the music." - A set of drabbles loosely tied together by a background story. - Byakuya/Renji - fluff, angst
1. Amaranth, Nightwish

**Author:** Sinian  
**Title:** A penny for your thoughts  
**Rating:** from PG-14 up to R (probably)  
**Pairing:** Byakuya X Renji (or the other way round, that's fine by me)  
**Warnings:** fluffy, angst and English is not my first language  
**Summary:** "Well, I thought of setting my iPod on shuffle and for every song we try to think of a scene from our relationship that fits the music." - A set of drabbles loosely tied together by a background story.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine, never will be.

Once again many thanks to **mysocalledhell** for beta-reading! *hugs*

This had started out as the regular shuffle-your-music-and-write routine but since I'm so damn slow, I barely finished a few paragraphs and so I've come up with this alternative version. I listened to the song, thought of a scene and wrote it down. There is definitely more to come but they pretty much can be seen as oneshots. I don't know when the next song will be done but I'll do my best.

If you want to listen to this song or one of the following chapters, maybe read through the lyrics... just google it. ;)

Have fun!

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**A penny for your thoughts**

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Renji was sprawled on a checkered picnic blanket, his arms crossed behind his head and enjoyed the warm sun on his face. There was a barely audible sigh right beside him and he cracked an eye open to glance at his lover. Byakuya lay on his side with his head resting on Renji's shoulder and his left arm possessively curled across his stomach. That made him smile fondly and marvel at the fact that he was the only one allowed to see this side of the usually so cold and distant noble.

The two of them had been together for quite some time now and were enjoying one of the rare weekends when they both weren't on duty. They had left their Captain haoris behind and the responsibility for their divisions in the hands of their Fukutaichous and just went away. Finally they had found this beautiful place near a small lake where they had a more than delicious lunch, thanks to the skills of Byakuya's cooks. Renji decided that they would go for a swim later on but for now he was content to just lie there with Byakuya right beside him.

"Hey, Taichou," he whispered and lightly kissed his forehead, "how're you feeling?"

Byakuya grumbled a little and shifted closer to the body beside him without opening his eyes. "You don't need to call me that," he answered and tightened his hold on Renji.

"I know, but I still like it." Renji grinned and closed his eyes again. Even though he wasn't his Fukutaichou anymore he sometimes fell back into their former pattern just because Byakuya was so very cute when he grumbled like that. Not that he would ever tell him that, of course. Then he had an idea. "Hey, how about a little game?"

Byakuya yawned and propped himself up on his elbow to lazily kiss his lover who sighed contently and kissed him back. "It depends," he answered when they broke apart. "What do you have in mind?"

Renji hummed and traced Byakuya's cheek with his finger. "Well, I thought of setting my iPod on shuffle and for every song we try to think of a scene from our relationship that fits the music."

There was a little twitch curling Byakuya's lips. "Sounds good to me."

"Okay then." Renji shifted a little and reached for his bag. The iPod had been a gift from Rukia for his birthday and he had spent a whole afternoon with Ichigo to decide which songs he liked to have on it.

Finally he settled back down and plugged one of the earphones into Byakuya's and the other in his own ear. "Ready?" he asked and when Byakuya nodded he started the first song. They both listened to it and Renji couldn't help but hum along. When it was over he stopped the player and looked at his lover expectantly, thinking of something on his own.

Byakuya blinked twice and then leaned back. "I have something," he said, "but it is from a time before we got together."

"Well, I'd say that's okay," Renji answered and kissed him lightly. "Let's hear it, I'm all ears."

oOoOo

**[Amaranth – Nightwish]**

Byakuya winced and his hand reached up to massage his neck. He had been sitting at his desk all day long because some incompetent fool from the 12th division managed to burn the main laboratory along with the reports of the last four months. That meant that every other division had to help sort out the mess.

He didn't try to stifle a sigh since he was currently alone in the office. Renji had gone to fetch something to eat for the two of them and so he allowed himself to close his eyes and slump back in his chair. Right now he didn't have to pretend, to hold up the image of the noble who never gets tired and generally is all above everyone else.

Sometimes Byakuya hated this. Being born into the noble Kuchiki clan surely meant to have certain privileges but on the other side there was the daily struggle that came with having to live up to everyone's expectations. Maybe that's why he preferred to be alone in his free time. With another sigh he stood up, walked over to the window and leaned against the frame. The sun was setting and Seireitei was flooded by a red glow that gave the whole scene a slightly surreal look.

Suddenly there was a creak of one of the floorboards and immediately Byakuya straightened his posture, cursing himself for letting his guard down like that. No one should see him exhausted, least of all his Fukutaichou.

"Don't do that, Taichou," Renji said softly.

"Do what, Abarai?"

"Pretend that you aren't tired." There was a faint noise as Renji set their dinner down on the desk. "I know you well enough by now to see that you really should take a rest."

Byakuya didn't answer but continued to watch the sunset. He felt Renji stepping right behind him and then there were fingers tentatively touching his shoulders. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked in an icy voice, but the hands didn't disappear as he had hoped. Instead they began to slowly massage his tense muscles, obviously trying to tell him without words to let go just for now. "Stop it." There was no response and after a few moments of debating with himself, Byakuya finally gave in to Renji's very talented hands.

After what felt like a long time Byakuya opened his eyes he didn't remember closing and saw that the sky was completely dark. How long had he been standing here with Renji massaging him?

"Are you feeling better, Taichou?"

Byakuya allowed himself a soft sigh and nodded. "Yes."

"You're welcome." Something incredibly soft touched the back of his neck and for a moment Byakuya wondered if he imagined it. "Go home, Taichou, and get some rest."

Byakuya only nodded and for once their roles were reversed, as he followed his Fukutaichou's orders.

oOoOo

Renji couldn't help but smile at the memories that Byakuya had conjured up. "So you admit that you really _were_ exhausted back then?"

Byakuya nodded. "But I had no idea that you could read me so well to notice something I had not wanted to admit to myself."

"You forget that for a long time it'd been my goal to reach and then surpass you. Of course I watched you closely." Renji thought of all those little things he had noticed along the way and how bit by bit he had reached an understanding of his former Taichou.

"Hmm." Then Byakuya opened his eyes again. "You know, I have always wondered... did you really kiss my neck back then?"

He blushed lightly, something he hadn't done in a long time. "Umm.. well, in fact I did," Renji admitted softly. "Just couldn't resist you, you know. There I got you all loosened up and at peace for once, so I figured you wouldn't notice if I stole a tiny kiss." He cleared his throat and reached for his iPod again. "Next one?"

"Go ahead."

* * *

Thanks for reading!  
There will be more...


	2. Hallowed be thy name, Iron Maiden

Renji started the music once again and just like before they listened in silence. When the last of the guitar riffs faded away they were both silent for a moment. Then Renji sighed and rubbed his eyes. Byakuya glanced at him and wondered what the other was thinking.

"I guess there's a scene in my head that fits just perfectly. But... it's kinda embarrassing."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Byakuya reassured him.

"No, it's okay. You were there after all," Renji answered and then started.

oOoOo

**[Hallowed be thy name – Iron Maiden]**

Renji opened his eyes and looked up at an unfamiliar ceiling. The plastering was brittle and when he let his eyes wander he saw that the walls were glistering wet. Then he realized where he was.

"Why am I in a prison cell?" he asked the empty room.

When he walked over to the window he could see the execution grounds and a chill ran down his back. Then there was the clanking of keys and he turned his head to the barred door that just opened with creaking hinges. A Special Forces officer was standing in the doorway and looked at him with disgust. Why? What had he done to be in this cell?

"Ready to face your punishment, prisoner?" he asked flatly.

"Punishment? For what?" Renji asked in return, having not the slightest idea of any crime he could have committed.

The officer snorted and shot him an unbelieving look. "So you're still pretending to have a complete memory loss? As if anyone could ever be let to believe that you forgot how you've killed your own Taichou."

Renji was dumbstruck. He did what? He killed... Byakuya? No way. They have been together for several years now and love each other deeply. "That's a misunderstanding! I didn't do... I could NEVER..." His voice broke.

"And still you have," the cold voice answered, eyes like steel telling him unmistakably that it is the truth.

Renji's vision darkened when his mind processed the horrible fact that apparently he had killed the one he loved and his knees gave way. He slumped down on the floor while hot tears streamed down his cheeks. No, no, no, no, NO! He covered his ears with his hands to shut out everyone around him and wished to die right there on the spot.

With heavy steps the officer walked up to him and a hand on his shoulder shook him roughly.

"Renji! Renji, wake up, you're dreaming!"

With a start he opened his eyes and it took him a few moments to recognize Byakuya who hovered over him and had a worried look on his face. Without a word Renji wrapped his arms around his lover and cried silently while he held on for dear life. The comforting strokes up and down his back were soothing and he mumbled "you're alive, you're alive, you're alive," all over again, like a mantra.

"Yes, I'm all right. And I love you, Renji."

oOoOo

Renji closed his eyes and tried to forget the sheer horrors of that particular nightmare. He wasn't scared very easily, not after all the things he had seen in his life, but everything had seemed so _real_ that he truly had believed he'd killed Byakuya and that had shaken him to the core.

"Hey, Renji, that hadn't been real and you know that," Byakuya tried to soothe him while he tried to process what he had heard just now. Renji had never told him what he had dreamed of that night and all he knew from his reactions was that there had been something horrible in his dreams.

"Yes, I know." There was a long silence when neither of them said anything. "I _wanted_ them to kill me quickly, you know? So that I wouldn't have to live knowing that you weren't there anymore."

Byakuya was at a loss for words. But then he smiled one of his rare smiles. "Renji, would you promise me something?"

"Anything."

"The next time you dream something like that you remember that I'm totally sure that you would _never_ be able to kill me just like that." And with an amused twinkle in his eyes he added, "if they still insist on it, then.. umm.. flip them off and wake up, okay?"

Renji could only stare at his lover for using this kind of language but it lasted only a moment. Then he laughed and hugged Byakuya tightly. "I promise!"

"Good."

"Well then, ready to find out what the next song is about?" Renji asked and pressed start when Byakuya winked at him.

* * *

Thanks for reading!  
There will be more...


	3. Lacrymosa, Evanescence

When the first violins started, Byakuya glanced at Renji. He was a little bit surprised at the classical theme, had never thought that he would listen to something like that, but then he closed his eyes again and concentrated on the music.

The deep melancholy in the song and especially in the lyrics washed over him like a chilling wave and made his heart ache. There was a certain scene floating to the surface of his mind that he almost managed to forget from a long time ago and he just knew that there wasn't anything more fitting for this particular song. Even though it would be painful for both of them, he decided to go through with it.

When Renji stopped his player again and sighed softly, Byakuya closed his eyes and rolled on his back. "Renji, I..." he started, but couldn't finish the sentence; he didn't even know what he wanted to say in the first place.

"Byakuya?" There was concern in his voice. "You know that you don't have to..."

"No, Renji," he interrupted, "I do."

In one fluid movement, Byakuya sat up and drew his knees to his chest while his gaze seemed to fix a point on the far side of the lake, something only he could see. Renji propped himself up on his elbows and watched him wearily; he could see the subtle signs that Byakuya was gathering his thoughts.

"Do you know what it means?"

Renji almost didn't catch the whispered question and had no idea just what Byakuya was referring to, but answered anyway. "No, I don't."

"_Lacrimosa_... it means '_full of tears_'..." And then Byakuya began to speak.

oOoOo

**[Lacrymosa – Evanescence]**

Byakuya sat on the floor of his private room, leaning against the open door that let out to the garden and sighed deeply. He shivered in the cold air but did nothing against it. It was a chilly November afternoon, already getting dark and the bare trees matched his own mood perfectly.

Just an hour ago he had summoned Renji to the Kuchiki mansion, but instead of the two of them retreating to his private rooms as usual, he had told him they had to talk. His heart ached when he thought of how the brilliant smile on his Fukutaichou's face had evaporated in an instant and a deep frown appeared in its place.

The following scene had cost him almost all his strength to go through, but he just _had_ to do it. He told Renji in his usual cold voice that their relationship was over.

For a minute Renji just stood there and looked him in the eyes, desperate to find out what to make of this. Then he did something Byakuya hadn't expected at all from his usually so fierce and passionate Fukutaichou. Renji's shoulders slumped and with a muttered "Goodbye... _Byakuya_," he just turned around and left, softly closing the door behind him.

And now he was here out in the cold, trying to get over their break-up, but failing miserably. He had told himself that he had to end it in order to set Renji free again, that their relationship couldn't have worked in the first place. They were like fire and ice, so completely different that he had often wondered how they had managed to actually get together.

How could Renji ever really want an emotionally crippled man like himself? He was so full of life, so untamed and ... well, just _Renji_, that he couldn't ever be happy at Byakuya's side. No, it was for the best to finish it while he still had the strength to do so. Now Renji can blame it all on Byakuya and eventually get over it.

He pretended he didn't care that it affected him so deeply, but the rational part of his mind told him that he wouldn't be able to change who he was. He would never be able to introduce Renji to his family as his lover, their relationship would always be a secret that had to be kept at all costs, and he knew that this would destroy Renji in the end. Not today, but in the long run it would be too much to bear, forced to work together every day without being able to show what they really felt.

Byakuya drew his knees up to his chest in search of a little bit of warmth. Yes, it had been the only logical decision. At least that's what he tried to tell himself, but the fact is that his heart was bleeding at the loss of the man he had come to love so deeply.

A single tear ran down his cheek.

oOoOo

Byakuya felt strong arms around him as Renji pulled him into a warm embrace, thumbs softly brushed away the tears he hadn't realized he was crying. "I'm sorry, Renji," he whispered.

Renji didn't know what to say. True, that day Byakuya had hurt him more than he could ever tell and being reminded of the pain and desperation that had followed their break-up wasn't less painful. Hearing his lover talk about the emotional breakdown he had gone through that was so similar and yet so different from his own feelings at that time had stirred up the wounds from the past and soothed them at the same time.

But what really got to Renji were Byakuya's last words, highly unusual for him and so very precious because of that. So in the end he settled on a simple "I know." He looked deep into those grey eyes he had come to love so much and then leaned in to kiss him. Renji poured all his feelings into this kiss and the intensity of Byakuya's wordless answer made his heart skip a beat.

He gently leaned back and pulled Byakuya down with him. Neither of them wanted to break their embrace and several minutes passed before Byakuya nudged him lightly. "I wonder what the next song is."

Renji raised an eyebrow at that. "You sure you want to continue this? Who knows what else in gonna come haunt us."

Byakuya reached for the earplugs and offered one to his lover. "I don't think it could get any worse than this."

Renji snorted. "True." Then he grinned and reached for his iPod. "Okay then, hold on to your panties, here we go!" which earned him a playful eye roll from Byakuya.

* * *

Thanks for reading!  
There will be more...


	4. You can leave your hat on, Joe Cocker

The idea for this came to me with the cover image of chapter 375. I took one look at Renji and in the next instant I got the song playing in my head and this rabid plotbunny gnawing at my ankle. ;)

**

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**

As soon as they listened to the first moments of the song Renji couldn't help grinning like an idiot, knowing _exactly_ what scene was on both their minds. He glanced at Byakuya who looked up to him with an amused twinkle in the eye. Oh yes, there's definitely no need to think of something when the song already had had such a deep impact on both of them...

When the music finally died away Renji raised an eyebrow at his lover, silently asking who would tell the story.

"Let me do it," Byakuya answered. "I want you to see what I saw back then."

"Hmmm, okay." Renji winked. "Though you were a wonderful sight yourself."

"I bet." Byakuya sat up and licked his lips before he started to talk.

oOoOo

**[You can leave your hat on – Joe Cocker]**

Byakuya entered his private rooms and sighed. The whole day had mostly been a huge waste of his time, starting with the more than boring Captains meeting and ending with sorting out the mess that had resulted out of the confrontation of some new recruits from his and Zaraki's division. Apparently they had thought it to be a good idea to test their fighting abilities against each others after a rather prolonged drinking contest. It had ended in the destruction of several houses in Rukongai while Zaraki just stood there grinning like the maniac he was and quite obviously having to resist the desire of joining in the fight along with his bunch of idiots.

The door behind him slid shut with an almost inaudible click and Byakuya's whole posture slumped a little. Slowly and unusually ungraceful he shrugged out of his clothes and left them scattered around him on the floor – his servants would tend to them – before he headed over to his private bathroom. He couldn't wait to wash all the dirt of the day off and then get a good nights sleep, unfortunately alone, since Renji had the weekend off and had been planning for several weeks to spend it over in the real world with Ichigo. Byakuya wasn't jealous of their friendship but wished his Fukutaichou would be here with him nonetheless.

Finally he emerged from the soothing water and put on his favorite kimono that his more than attentive servants have laid out for him. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the soft silk on his skin. Yes, he would summon for a cup of his favorite tea, choose a good book from his library and make the best of the evening.

However the small smile that played around his lips was washed away from his face as he entered his bedroom. Countless of candles were placed all over the room and flooded it with a soft golden light... and there at the door that leads to the garden was no other than Renji who casually leaned against the frame with his hands buried in the pockets of his pants and smirked at him. "Surprised to see me?" he asked nonchalantly.

Byakuya didn't trust his voice and could only nod while his gaze travelled up and down his Fukutaichou in uncontained apprehension. Wow, Renji looked truly gorgeous like that and he _knew_ it. He was barefoot, the pants he wore accentuated his long legs, the white shirt was close-fitting and so thin that Byakuya could almost see the black tattoos shining through and over it all Renji had put on a black coat. His long red hair was tamed into a braid and partially hidden by a black hat that shaded some of his face. And was there really...? Byakuya had to blink twice to make sure he didn't imagine it but there _was_ black eyeliner highlighting Renji's eyes what made his look of passion and lust so much more intense.

"Renji, what...?"

"Shh..." He made his way over to slide his arms around his lover's waist and kissed him deeply. Renji led Byakuya to his futon and winked at him. "Sit down and enjoy the show."

"Hmm, okay. But may I ask you what the occasion for this is?" So far Byakuya had no idea, it wasn't their anniversary nor his birthday or anything else that would make sense.

Renji grinned. "You find that out until the end of the song and I'll grant you a wish." Then, as an afterthought he added, "but if you don't, you owe _me_." Byakuya nodded, already rummaging through his brain for the reason of this while Renji walked over to stand in the middle of the room with his back turned to him. Suddenly the music started and Renji began to slowly move his hips in time with it. He glanced over his shoulder back to Byakuya and winked. "You have four minutes."

The coat was the first thing to go, sliding gracefully from broad shoulders and allowing Byakuya the first real glance at just how tight Renji's pants were. Then he slowly turned around and ran his hands across his chest to play with the buttons of his shirt. He smiled seductively when he ran a thumb across his nipple through the thin fabric and circled it to make it harden.

Byakuya had to swallow and his breath quickened noticeable. Still he tried to solve the puzzle. What particular date was there that Renji seemed worth to do something like...

But his thoughts came to a halt when Renji slid one hand up his thigh while the other played with his braid. Byakuya followed those fingers on their way up with his eyes until they reached their destination and Renji gave his erection a firm squeeze. A passionate gaze was shot at him that made him shiver and his own erection grow harder.

Renji slowly came closer while he still moved his hips in time with the music and one by one he opened the buttons of his shirt. Byakuya was mesmerized as the tattoos he knew so well were revealed to him and when he was close enough he reached out to run his fingers across the black lines. But Renji just took a step back and grinned wickedly. "No touching," he scolded and turned around again. Suddenly Renji's shirt was gone, dangling from his hand before it dropped to the floor. Byakuya let his eyes run across well built muscles and black lines. No, he would never get enough of this sight.

When Renji half turned to show him his profile, Byakuya could see that his hands have sneaked to his belt. With smooth movements he took it out of the loops and let it join the other clothes. Byakuya was completely enthralled when Renji fixed him with his eyes and mouthed "_you give me reason to live_" in time with the music and he couldn't hold back a throaty moan.

Once again Renji approached him predatorily, unable and definitely not wanting to hide his erection, while his hands roamed all over his abdomen and thighs. One step away from Byakuya he finally opened the button and agonizingly slowly slid the zipper down. Byakuya was unable to look away when Renji pulled his pants down, just a little to reveal his hip bones, and moaned softly. By now he was desperate to see it all. Renji radiated pure sex mixed with some evil that was just this side of acceptable.

Renji turned around and finally let the pants slide all the way down his legs before he kicked them away. As assumed he wore no underwear what allowed Byakuya to take in the perfect view of his lover's backside. With still swaying hips Renji turned back to him, his erection proudly standing forth. Byakuya was amazed. There he was in all his naked glory with nothing on than his black hat from under which his eyes blazed in pure lust. And all of it was his for the taking. In one smooth motion Byakuya stood up, wrapped his arms around Renji and kissed him passionately.

After what felt like an eternity they broke apart, both breathing heavily. Renji questioningly raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

Just then Byakuya realized the suspicious silence announcing that his time for consideration was up and Renji demanded an answer. "Umm..." He sighed. He had been so absorbed in the totally hot show of Renji slowly stripping for him that every thought of _why_ was wiped out of his head.

"You admit defeat then?" An illegally sexy smile curled Renji's lips.

"Unfortunately, I have no idea what the occasion for this...," Byakuya paused and ran his hands over Renji's back until they rested on his hips, "this incredibly enjoyable show is." Then he kissed him again.

Renji groaned and pressed their hips together. "You definitively have too much clothes on." That earned him an affirmative hum from Byakuya. "Oh, and the reason is that we're together for a thousand days now."

Byakuya blinked a few times before a smile curled his lips and he answered, "You are truly something different and I love you for it." He kissed the tip of Renji's nose and winked "So, what do you have in mind for your reward?"

oOoOo

Somewhere in the middle of the story Renji had sat up and shifted so that he was now facing his profile. Byakuya had closed his eyes while he was talking and Renji couldn't help but be amazed that he was allowed to call this man '_lover_'. He let his eyes roam all over his body and the combination of this sight, the sound of Byakuya's voice and of course the memories of that incredible night he conjured up resulted in a familiar tingling in his stomach.

Renji sighed softly when Byakuya finished and didn't even try to hide his growing erection. Instead he slowly ran his hand across Byakuya's chest and further down to find that he wasn't the only one getting excited. He leered at Byakuya but withdrew his fingers nonetheless what earned him a protesting moan and a smoldering glare. Oh yes, he loved it when he was like that.

"Hmmm, that was awesome."

"Well, I would prefer if you finished what you have started," Byakuya answered with narrowed eyes.

Renji just raised an eyebrow at that. "What _I_ have started? Correct me, but it seemed to be _you_ who is responsible for your current state by telling such a hot story." Then he grinned. "Oh, and just for the record, I love it when you talk like that."

"You have no idea what you got yourself into right now..."

"Really?" Renji leaned back on his elbow and teasingly ran a hand over his thigh while he made sure that Byakuya's eyes followed. "Why don't you show me, then?"

"Rest assured, I will."

And Byakuya made sure of his promise in a most delightful way, Renji's iPod and their game forgotten... for now.

* * *

Thanks for reading!  
There will be more...

Until then, use your imagination. *winks*


	5. Live for better days, Ignite

I highly recommend listening to the song, it's **awesome**!

* * *

Some time later Byakuya lay on his back with one hand behind his head and the other tangled in blood red hair, playing with the silky strands. Renji used Byakuya's chest as a pillow and lazily drew figures onto the soft skin beneath him until a thought struck him out of nowhere. "Hey Byakuya," he asked, half sitting up, "shouldn't we put our clothes back on? I mean, not that I wouldn't appreciate the view, I really do, but I don't want you to get a sunburn." He'd hate it if the perfectly white skin he loved so much would turn red.

Byakuya chuckled softly. "Thank you for your concern, Renji, but there is no need. Not yet, anyway."

"Oh, okay." Renji pressed a kiss onto one of his lover's nipples. "Well, how about another song, then? I'm starting to really like this game."

"I'd love to."

"Great!" Renji looked around, searching. "Umm, you don't happen to know just where I put my iPod?"

"Unfortunately not. It makes me wonder, though, just what was on your mind that you apparently cast it away in such a manner," Byakuya answered with a small smile and a twinkle in his eyes.

Renji snorted. "As if you didn't know." Then he stood up and started to look for it in the grass.

Byakuya couldn't help but admire the sight of Renji who was standing naked in front of him, occasionally turning around. The afternoon sun made his hair and his skin gleam and when he finally bent down with a "Got it!", Byakuya moaned softly. Renji glanced at him over his shoulder and put a hand on his hip. "You like what you see?" he asked.

"I certainly do." Byakuya gestured for him to lie down again and when he was comfortably settled against him, Renji offered him an earphone and started the music.

They listened in silence and when the song was over, Renji grinned. "Guess it is my turn again. Do you remember the time when Ichigo came over here for the first time?"

"How could I ever forget." Byakuya raised an eyebrow. "What part of it exactly?"

"Well, actually the aftermath."

oOoOo

**[Live for better days – Ignite]**

Renji sat with his legs dangling over the ledge and watched the sun set over Rukongai. There were times when he needed a quiet place to think things through and he couldn't think of a better place than this. The graves of his childhood friends behind him were comforting in a strange way, reminding him where he came from and at the same time just what he managed to accomplish in spite of that. Sometimes when he was in a strange mood he talked to them, but usually he just enjoyed the peace.

A searing pain ran through his body when he slightly shifted his weight to reach for Zabimaru who was next to him and he winced. Not long ago he had defied the higher-ups by teaming up with Kurosaki Ichigo to save Rukia from being executed. Unfortunately he found himself against his own Taichou in a fight that will probably become legendary in the future, along with the whole incident.

Even though he had lost and almost died, only a part of him was disappointed. The other part was rather proud because he managed to reach his bankai in a very short period of time. Sure, it's still a long way until he can say that he truly mastered it but even his Captain had said that it was a great achievement.

Kuchiki Byakuya.

Renji sighed. It had been so obvious that he was nowhere near his Captain's level. He had tried to stand up against him and actually held his ground for a while, but had failed in the end. The one moment when he forced Byakuya down on a knee, Renji had been triumphant. Unfortunately, his good mood evaporated soon after that, just like Senbonzakura's blade.

Byakuya had told him that his fangs had reached him today. But deep down in his heart Renji knew that no matter how many steps he'd make in his direction, Byakuya would always be one step farther away. He simply had to face the truth and realize that it would be the best to bury his dreams to overcome his Captain. Instead he should use the opportunity and learn as much as he could from him.

Renji wasn't feeling particularly sorry for his actions, in fact he would do so again in the blink of an eye and save Rukia. He had made his point very clear and along the way, he had learned some very important things about her and the connection with her brother as well. Damn, it really wasn't fair. Being torn between two promises and knowing that you would inevitably have to break one of them... But what did he know about the honor of the noble families. He who had grown up in the slums as a nobody?

"_Stop feeling sorry for yourself_," he grumbled.

Yes, he needed to calm down and maybe start to do things a little more like Byakuya. Well, at least try. After all he wasn't part of the 11th division anymore and as second in command there are lots of people who look up to him. He'd have to be some kind of role model for them and bring order to the division.

The last rays of sunlight faded and Renji had made his decision. He stood up and winced once again, his injuries far from healed. Then he said a silent goodbye to his friends and slowly walked back to the 4th division where he would sit at Byakuya's bedside and watch over him, like a good Lieutenant should do, until he woke up again.

oOoOo

"I guess, Ichigo had caused a lot of things to change back then. And not only the way I started looking at you," Renji said thoughtfully.

Byakuya hummed in agreement. "We really owe him a lot."

"Even though he busted into your room without warning that day." Renji giggled. "You should have seen your face!"

"Is that so?" Byakuya scowled at him.

"Oh, come on, don't be like that." Renji leaned down for a kiss. "Are you up for another song?"

Byakuya shot him a glare but couldn't stay mad at his lover for long, not if he used his puppy-eyes on him. "You are incorrigible," he sighed. "Go ahead, then."

* * *

Thanks for reading!

I'd like to say that there will be more but unfortunately I can't. My ideas have left me and so this is the end, for now.  
Maybe someday my muse will get back to me and I'll continue it, but I'm afraid I can't promise anything. Sorry.


End file.
